Blog @5 Chicken!

CLUCK! CLUCK! CLUCK!

This blog has been prompted by the appearance of a chicken in my front garden.  After a little commotion, the chicken has now been cornered, captured and returned to my neighbour's house. Unfortunately no eggs left behind!

So, what has that got to do with panto?  What has a chicken got to do with panto? Some may say 'not much', but, as you may have noticed, I have a particular fondness for chicken in panto.  I mean, who couldn't love such a comical bird?  And who couldn't agree that a chicken is a perfect panto bird?

This clock served it's time!
Time's up for the clock!
You can't turn back the clock!

So this brings me on to SPS panto traditions.  If you read the last blog post about the 'STORES', the 'famous' SPS cuckoo clock was mentioned.  This clock has been around for many past pantos and was, at one time, a vital piece of scenery.  In recent times, however, it's been sidelined (but not ditched).  Now it sits in the stores, waiting for a future appearance (it'll be lucky!).  Maybe it's time to start a 'bring back the clock' pressure group?  Can I hear your mind ticking over that thought?






Another SPS panto tradition is the chicken (you knew I was coming to that didn't you?). The chicken was often seen in a 'walk on' part during many pantos over the years.  That walk on chicken had such an impact on me in the audience that I instantly wanted to be that chicken.

After moving to France and seeing my first SPS panto in Pibrac (it was Sleeping Beauty in 2003), I thought I'd like to have a go at being involved.  Later that year, I left a message on the telephone number provided saying 'If you need someone to be the chicken, I would be very happy to fill that role'... I had no reply!  Another panto came and went (Wizard of Oz I think) and I turned up at the panto AGM in spring, ever hopeful that I could be the chicken in the next production.  Unfortunately at that time there was no vacancy for the job and I was told quite firmly (yes, quite firmly) that 'we already have a chicken'.  That sad event only put me off for a couple of years (3 actually!).  So in 2007, with my heart in my mouth I ventured out on a hot and sizzling day to the auditions for Way out West.  And yeehaa! I had the good fortune this time to get a part on stage.  It was not the chicken, but I was content. I have to say that I had my eye on a cameo part of Elvis Presley but realised, after embarrassing myself by singing 'TeddyBear' with all the men in the audition, that I was not the man for the job!  This was not the last time that I embarrassed myself at a panto audition by singing an Elvis song, but that particular story is still too painful to tell! By the way,  there wasn't a chicken in 'Way out West'.

Just to round off this little story... Several years later I became the panto director and was keen to bring the chicken back.  Thankfully my production colleagues agreed that there was a place in 'Jack and the Beanstalk' for a chicken, so the chicken was back! (with a new costume because the old one had clucked off somewhere never to be seen again).

Ben S as 'chicken licken' in Jack and the Beanstalk
accompanied by Daisy the Cow!

Then I got that fluffy chicken into 'Robin Hood' as well - yay!

Patrick F as 'Plucky chicken' in Robin Hood
accompanied by a selection of archers!

Now this year's panto is Puss in Boots, set in the wild west - can I get a chicken into that panto?  You bet your boots I can!  But, the burning question is:  who will have the honour of donning the freshly laundered chicken suit?  Could it be me?  I wish that were possible, but unfortunately for me, someone else will have that most illustrious of roles: the small but beautifully formed cameo chicken role. You'll just have to wait and see. Perhaps it could be you?

Just for the record - I really don't bear a grudge about those wilderness years following the chicken rebuff - my psychiatrist says I'm nearly over it!

Right, now you've read this, cluck off  - but not for too long - there will be another cluckin' blog post soon!

Blog #4 The stores - aladdin's (and everyone else's) cave

'THE STORES'

Where on earth does all that stuff go after each SPS panto has finished?

Some of the less useful items will be binned; the rest goes to...

'THE STORES !

Each year, at the end of the last show, once the roar of the grease and the smell of the crowd has subsided, an enormous effort is required to stash away all the costumes, props, worsels and wizbits, fluff and nonsense that linger.  For the most part, they end up in the STORES!

Storage of stuff was always a big headache for SPS in the past, but for the past few years we've been lucky enough to have use of the barn at the Montessori school near Grenade.  In return for the storage space, a team of SPS navies have helped to make the barn useable by building and mending bits of the building. 
Although this is my third time at directing SPS panto, I've never actually made it up to the 'STORES'.  So, a few weeks ago, I plucked up the courage and travelled - through blistering blizzards, searing heat, high mountains and low valleys - to reach this cavern of intrigue.  My intention was to help a bit with some sorting of 'stuff'.  I had a vague idea of what I might find, but my expectations of finding treasure were low ...  but COR BLIMEY, there's a lot of stuff in there! And what treasure...It's like a hoarder's heaven!

When you enter the 'STORES', the first thing you see is a huge pile of wood.  Loads and loads of wood.  More wood.  Some bits are recognisable as something; a table and chairs perhaps. Some bits have a hint of their former self.

Anyone recognise this?  Harduppo Hall door from 'Cinderella'!

But we all know that later in the year, that pile of wood will be transformed into something pretty spectacular as usual.  The very accomplished scenery crew do it.  I have always wanted to be able to construct things from wood (and I have tried many times but the results are bad and usually wonky).  I have very limited carpentry skills.  This is not surprising because if I haven't got the right tools handy, I'll use whatever is nearby.  I often knock nails in with a tin of soup or paperweight, maybe a shoe (not very good because I don't have any with proper heels).  I once used a can of beer as a hammer - it exploded and made a lot more work cleaning up than just going to the garage to get the hammer! But enough of that...

To the right of the wood pile area is a smaller 'room'.  This is full with big metal trunks (and a Darlek!).

Darlek guarding the costume store!

In those trunks are several pantos worth of costumes.  Millions of costumes, in fact. Yeah millions!

Fran, Karin and Ann-yi, that brave and incredibly organised trio, have been there for weeks sorting out this 'costume department'. 

Karin takes no prisoners when photographing the costumes.

Although this plucky job had been started a few years ago by previous intrepid panto pioneers, sadly many old costumes have been turned into varmits nests, so had to be chucked out.

The varmits have been!

Now most of the costumes (did I say there are loads of them?) are safely stashed away in rat-proof trunks.  And the painstaking process of cataloging the whole panto wardrobe collection has been completed.  Each item of clothing, each hat, each pair of shoes, belts, gloves, frilly things, have all been photographed, packed away and recorded on a computer spreadsheet. Marvellous.  I say 'respect' to those who have done this mighty task - before and now.

Ooo! Lovely shiny costumes packed in their trunk

I arrived just at the end of the process (shame!) and had a mere glimpse of what lies in those trunks.  Some costumes are from pantos long past and are a bit puzzling!

Who wore this? How? And... why?

Next, it's time to sort out the props!  The first job is to wade through the rat poo and discard anything that's been eaten, nested in or peed upon! It's fascinating opening up all the boxes and bags and finding all sorts of interesting objects...

Treasure indeed!

But what on earth could this be?
A retractable sword of course!

I enjoyed my rummage through the props (apart from the rat poo and pee). It's a bit of a nostalgia trip for me.  I saw things I'd used in some the the pantos I've been in.  I was very excited when I found the giant underpants I made for 'Jack and the Beanstalk'.  I've nabbed them to 'look after' at home (I don't think they'll be used again - even giants don't want second hand underpants). I will be using them as a bedspread of course.  Other props may trigger a memory for others involved in panto.  A couple of skulls - 'Treasure island', 'Peter Pan'...  These are certain to be used again.

'Hamlet' the panto? Nah, too depressing.

That's better!

I'll bet loads of SPS panto people recognise this one:

Top of the props, and the old clock (yes, it's still there)

And I spy some wagon wheels in the background ripe for recycling (yeehaa!).


After all that rummaging a cup of tea was most definitely needed.  And a piece of cake too.

Nice cuppa!

'STORES' selfie

Back to the Darlek - the question is:  'Is is a prop? Is is a costume? (someone did 'wear' it) Or, is is scenery?

Whatever it is, it wasn't much use for EXTERMINATING the vermin.  We love it though.  It may never be used in panto again, but it's a fabulous nostalgia piece from the SPS 25th birthday production of 'Snow White'. 

By the way, I wasn't joking about it guarding the stores.  I swear I saw it twitch as I left the room!